So, college is nothing more than a distant memory now and already those promises made on last days have surely fell through...Funny isn't it? How we always promise never to loose touch and yet we always do? I'm currently working in what feels like one of the seven circles of hell, knowing my time thier is ticking away sure makes makes me feel better sometimes. I've been looking for propper work now for a couple of months, an it's been fruitless but thier is light at the end of the tunnel. Well, you'll be pleased to know that I've moved on from guy "X" it took a long time and took ALOT of energy and created many a tear. It all started with just me getting down about him making plans then cancelling them, i mean let's face it if you "love" someone that much you ignore the bad points about them. I got really down one night, I'd always considered him my sort of boyfriend so refused chances to go out and meet other people. In the end i decided to text him asking why he let me down this specific night and like always he picked up on my mood and was instantly asking what was up and after many a text I gave into his request and told him, after a LONG night of talking I decided to go to sleep...That didn't happen I just lay in my bed with everything swurling around in my head, I just didn't know what to do with myself...We didn't speak for weeks.
A month or so later he got back in touch, sounding eagar and saying how close we used to be. Luckily for me I had good people to fall back on, I explained I needed time to propperly move on an I didn't want to get sucked back into the same old viscious circle. Days turned into weeks, an he was so persistant I could tell he missed me in the end we got into a new routine of talking me being able to end it whenever I felt things were getting heavy this worked wonders. He continued to want more for us go out together, me go round. Being able to say no felt like amazing, I had control of my life again. It's been like that for a while now, however he's doing the same old things treating me like his partner trying for us to meet up and go to places you'd only take your boyfriend such as your works Christmas due.
Luckily for myself I can see it all coming and easily pick up on his signals and send out a no thank-you. I have a gig that I booked when I felt that way about him coming up next week I'm looking forward to it because it's a good gig just the feelings that he may omit are going to be a true test, aswell as this I'm going to meet up with him this Friday to have a well earned catch up, it's going to be interesting but I'll be able to tell what he's thinking by how he reacts to the situation of us going for a meal and a drink (his idea), I'm confident that I'll be able to get passed all the mixed signals he throws out permamently.
Well, since moving on I went into town and had a well needed "rebound". I know you're thinking rebound? You were never together, in my head we were and clearly he had some sort of idea we were something more than close friends. Since that i've been looking around and really enjoyed meeting lots of new people and trying lots of experiences. Life has been brillaint so far, I've got back in touch with my very first lover and it's going well some things are more difficult than others in terms of catching up so much has happened over the years, what "X" has taught me is that I need to learn how to protect myself from getting hurt and that's what I intend to do.
Thanks for reading,
Sl8rKid. Xx
(8)Don't Cry For Me Argentina, the truth is I never left you.(8)
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